Do you know those people in your life who you just want to be around? Who are incredibly magnetic, draw you in, and are just so darn likable? There’s something about them that most likely makes you feel good about yourself when you are around them. What is it about them that makes them so likable? What are they doing differently and how did they become so likable and magnetic like that? Well, today’s post all about that! I want to talk about three simple habits that any of us can do to just become more likable.
Now, it’s not about becoming someone else! I am not here to tell you to become someone else or change who you are, but sometimes it’s just these little tweaks and habits that we can do differently that draw people in. Little tweaks that will allow people to feel more connected to us and good about themselves when they’re around us. Regardless if you are introverted or extroverted, loud or quiet, these little habits and tweaks will also make you like yourself more and help you feel more confident. With that, here are 3 tips on how to be the most likable person!
1. Give compliments
If you have something nice to say about somebody else, say it! If you are thinking something nice, complementary, or something you notice about someone that you really like, let them know. This might sound really annoying and obvious, but you’d be surprised how many of us think really nice things about people, yet never tell them what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. For some reason, so many of us tend to hold that in. So instead of keeping in that compliment, just say it! You’d be surprised how big of an impact this has on people.
When you say something nice to someone else, it just makes them feel good and when we make somebody else look good then they just automatically like us more and are more drawn to us. Plus, you get bonus points for this tip if you do this in person. Of course, it’s okay to this by text, phone, or email, but make a point to give compliments in person (at least once in a while). This is because of something called positivity resonance. What this means is the positive experience of an in-person, live interaction becomes more than the sum of its parts.
For example, say I say something nice to you, this causes you to feel good because I just gave you a compliment or a word of encouragement or uplifted you in some way, and now I see that something I did made you feel good so now I feel good because I made you feel good and now you see that I’m feeling good and it just becomes this whole cycle and the positivity and positive emotions just reverberates back and forth. It becomes a lot bigger having this real-life experience. This is why it is important to give compliments or spread positivity in person, at least every now and then!
2. Hold your tongue
Bite your dang tongue, especially if it comes to critical words about yourself. Many of us have this habit of verbally throwing ourselves under the bus and maybe we don’t even fully mean what we’re saying half of the time. But many of us find ourselves saying sort of nasty, critical, destructing, and condemning things about ourselves to other people. If you think about it, if you know anybody who does this, who just sort of says very mean things about themselves, or criticizes themselves by saying things like “I’m such a loser,” “I’m a failure,” “Nobody likes me,” “I can’t do anything right,” how do you feel when they say stuff like that?
Oftentimes, it causes us to feel kind of uncomfortable. We don’t really know what to do with that and it’s not drawing us closer to that person. Many times, it’s just sort of pushing us away since we feel uncomfortable. With that, this is totally different than someone who’s struggling and saying: “I’m having a really difficult time,” “I’m having a really bad day,” or “I could really use some support or a listening ear or someone to talk to.” Those kinds of scenarios are completely different!
Here’s where it’s different…
If we’re having a bad day, and asking for someone to support us, or telling someone that we need them to be there for us is different than complaining and throwing ourselves under the bus and saying how much we suck or saying all of these hurtful, nasty things about ourself. The latter just tends to push people away. However, talking about or sharing what we’re going through actually brings people closer.
Therefore, next time you are struggling, talk about what you’re struggling with instead of just saying how much of a failure you are or how much you suck and putting yourself down. This one is also going to help you to naturally like yourself better because we like people who are good to us. We typically don’t like people who are calling us down, criticizing, or berating us even if that someone is us doing it to ourselves. So getting a handle on this one and getting out of that habit will really have a big impact on our self-esteem as well!
3. Show interest in others
This last tip is a very powerful one! One of the biggest things that make people interesting, likable, and magnetic is when they are interested in us. So, asking people questions, being genuinely interested in other people, waiting for answers, engaging them, and listening intently is a profound way of showing people that we’re curious and that we care. The number one thing that makes another human being interesting is when they are interested in us.
If you think about it, the last time you really had a great conversation where you left feeling ‘wow, I really like that person, I want to get to know them better’ chances are they didn’t spend the whole time talking about themselves, they spent a lot of their time focusing on you. Asking you questions, making you feel important and liked and interesting, so they made you feel interesting which is why you found them interesting.
Again, I’m not saying that we never talk about ourselves and it has to be all about everybody else all the time, because that’s not good or a healthy, balanced, two-way relationship. There needs to be us sharing and the other person sharing and equality in that conversation, but at least kind of, at first, to be engaging them in conversation and making them feel comfortable.
Simply put, the thing that makes us likable and magnetic and the thing that makes either people likable and magnetic is when we’re doing things to make other people feel comfortable, people are just more drawn to us when we’re doing things to make them feel good about themselves and to make them feel more comfortable in the same way that we like people when they are doing things to make us feel comfortable and make us feel good about ourselves.
With that, these aren’t the only three that we can ever do. There are tons more! And maybe I’ll make another post in the future that is filled with more tips! But in the meantime, I would LOVE to hear your comments below about what you think or what you’ve noticed really draws you towards another person, and what you feel makes somebody magnetic, and if you have applied any of them in your life.