Hello, my friend! I hope you are doing amazing this beautiful Monday morning! For today’s post, I want to talk about how to create a healthy relationship with yourself with these 3 simple steps!
So many of us neglect the relationship that we have with ourselves without even realizing it because we don’t really see how important it is or how toxic it is. We end up putting our relationship with ourselves on the backburner after everything else in our life. Such as our jobs, our romantic relationships, our responsibilities, etc. Having a healthy relationship with ourselves is SO important because it allows us to have peace of mind, higher self-esteem, and it allows us to be confident and have better relationships with other people around us.
We all know that we can’t have very healthy relationships with other people we if don’t have a healthy relationship with ourselves. So with that, I’m going to go over 3 simple tips on how to build a healthy relationship with yourself and also how to nurture that relationship as well. ✨
1. Treat yourself the way that you treat your loved ones
Often, the way that we treat ourselves, talk to ourselves, and judge ourselves is the same way that we would talk to an enemy or possibly even worse. We consistently have this mental chatter going on in our heads about what we’re doing wrong, what we need to do better, and superficial things that we would want to change about ourselves. We berate ourselves for not being funny enough, pretty enough, or not productive enough. The list goes on and on. And it’s so sad because we don’t even realize how toxic our inner dialogue can actually be.
For example, if we were that way to a friend, family member, or romantic partner, they would have left us a long time ago. That relationship would have never worked out. We would never say those hurtful things to someone that we love. Why? Because we don’t want to make them feel that way, we don’t want them to feel like they aren’t good enough. And although we realize that the people we love may have flaws, they are still amazing people and we still love them for who they are. So it only makes sense that we can view our own selves that way! It all starts with the way that you talk to yourself and it starts with the way that you judge yourself as well.
Whenever you take any sort of action, whether it’s something that you’re proud of or something that you’re not proud of, you should always have grace for yourself. If you did something you’re not proud of, you could always reflect on your actions and perhaps see what you did wrong and see what you can do better next time. Just think of it in the sense of if someone you love were to make that same mistake or do that same thing, what would you tell them? How would you react to them? Start by becoming your own best friend! Talk to yourself and go easy on yourself the way you would your best friend! Life is way too short to consistently be at battle with yourself! You should be your own #1 supporter!
I’m not perfect whatsoever. I make mistakes all the time. I do things that disappoint me all the time. But I am mindful and I try very hard to not judge myself and to not get so mad at myself, or be so harsh about the situation I’m in. For example, I try to think to myself: “You are human. You have been trying, you have done this right, you have improved in this area of your life, and it’s okay that you’re struggling with this. It’s going to get better! Just keep going. Just keep healing yourself and working on yourself.” I try to tell these things to myself as soon as I feel those negative views start to creep up.
When you have grace for yourself and when you are nice to yourself, things really start to change inside of you and around you! 💛🌿
2. Take care of yourself and make healing a priority
Make it your top priority to make sure that all of your needs are met! This goes along with the first tip as well. Take care of yourself the way you would with someone you love. Make sure that you are always being nourished with the foods you eat, make sure you are often checking in with yourself, make sure that you’re doing okay, and make sure that you’re doing things that are good for your body and your soul! I know that it can be difficult to take care of ourselves when we’re really stressed, busy, or when we’re really down on ourselves.
However, it’s all about just trying your best and being happy for yourself whenever you do something. Even if it’s the smallest thing like going to a doctor’s appointment that you’ve been putting off or going to the grocery store to make a healthy meal. Always make sure that you are balancing out your time to rejuvenate your soul! I know that so many of us are always on-the-go, and we have different goals that we’re always trying to reach, or we have a job or school classes that take up a lot of our energy, etc.
I know there are so many things in life we have to keep up with but it’s also so important to make sure that you’re working on yourself, doing inner work, and working on healing. Such as doing things that make you happy, taking time to relax, lighting some candles, listening to your favorite music, or meditating. Whatever it is that you love to do! Just make sure that you’re taking time for yourself and doing things that help you rejuvenate and recharge. Also, taking time to do inner work. Such as journaling, practicing mindfulness, and meditating. All things that help to heal whatever is hurting you inside or help mend whatever blockages you have that’s keeping you from having a good relationship with yourself.
It’s so important to make internal progress before you make external progress in your life! You could be doing all of these things to fix your external life, but if you are hurting internally and you are not doing well inside, then you’re always going to be feeling unsatisfied. Having a great relationship with yourself is being able to realize when you’re not doing well and you really need to commit to healing for your mental and emotional health. 💛💫
3. Try to understand your decisions and your behaviors
This means self-reflection and asking yourself questions such as: “Why am I at this place in my life?” “Why am I feeling this way all of the time?” Or, “why am I partaking in this bad habit all of the time?” “Why am I in this cycle of toxic relationships?” Simply checking in with yourself all the time and really trying to understand your behaviors, your thoughts, and your emotions. Just like if someone else was going through something, you would want to put yourself in their shoes and think about what they’re going through. Try to understand what made you feel this way.
Sometimes it’s things that happened in the past that have stuck with you or sometimes it’s just about reflecting on your current life situations, what you are satisfied with and what you’re not satisfied with. Also including what you’re angry with yourself about, etc. There are so many things that go into this. But not only does this help you fix the things in your life that are bothering you, but this understanding of the root cause of your actions, behaviors, and emotions, allows you to become more accepting of who you are and to not have so much self-hatred. It allows you to be able to understand where you are coming from and to be able to make progress in areas that you may be able to and grow!