We’ve all heard the quote, “Comparision is the thief of joy.” Yet, many of us have been in numerous situations where we compare ourselves to other people. The people we follow on social media, bloggers, celebrities, the ‘perfect’ moms on Instagram, and even to those we know in real life. Let’s be real – we’ve all compared ourselves or our life to someone else’s. This causes us to then feel sad, depressed, angry, or even resentful of who we are and what to we do have. We begin to wish for things that someone else has, and our negative emotions start to get the best of us.
We know we shouldn’t compare ourselves – and that it only leads to unhappiness and misery. But, in most cases, that it is often easier said than done. However, I believe that once we begin to celebrate and admire our own originality, uniqueness, and personality – that’s when comparison will begin to disappear out of our subconscious. So, in today’s post, I’m talking about four common areas where people tend to compare the most. And, how to overcome comparison and learn to celebrate your originality!
1. Relationships
Relationships are a big one when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. Especially to those that we see on social media! In my experience, I feel that this can go two ways. You either compare your entire relationship to two people who seem happier or more in love. Or, you compare yourself to a single individual who seems to be portraying the “perfect partner.” In which, you begin to feel as though you are not a good enough partner. Now, I am personally very happy and content in my relationship right now, but I do understand how it feels when you see a happy couple, kissing, having fun, holding hands, etc. – and you begin to compare your relationship to theirs.
Nevertheless, let me remind you that you are only seeing one, short moment! Every relationship, no matter how happy or in love they seem, has its rough times and curveballs. We all know that most people only document their happiest moments on social media for memory sake, or to boast. This is SO incredibly important to remember! Behind the scenes, you never know what people could be like. Sure, their relationship may be happy and healthy, but that does not mean that the couple does not have bad days or disagreements. And from an outsiders perspective, it’s easy to compare and view their relationship as a fairy tale without any hardships.
In my opinion, I believe that the healthiest option is to be positively inspired by that couple or that person who seems to be a “better partner.” Instead of comparing any of the obstacles or rough times that you may be currently going through in your relationship. You don’t want to live someone else’s love story, right? So, let yourself BE INSPIRED and not envious when viewing someone else’s love life. See what makes you so attracted to their lifestyle, or see what they are doing to make their love so alluring. And use that inspiration to create your own beautiful love story with the one that you love!
2. Appearance
I think we can all agree that we have compared ourselves to another person, appearance-wise, more than enough times. How many times do you catch yourself scrolling through Instagram or flipping through a magazine and wishing you looked like the highly photoshopped supermodel or celebrity in the picture? Have you ever wished you were a different size? Or had different color eyes? We all have insecurities! Trust me, my friend, I’ve dealt with so many insecurities in my life, and I still find myself dealing with different ones each week. However, not many people are aware of my insecurities, unless they are very close friends of mine.
It has taken many years, and a lot of practice, but I eventually was able to overcome many of my insecurities and learn to love my flaws and my perfect imperfections. Always remember that you are your toughest and most judgmental critic! What you see in the mirror and what you believe is a flaw or imperfection is most likely only seen by you. If you don’t point them out and let them define you, then trust me, nobody else will either!
Instead of wishing you looked like somebody else, why not admire their appearance and compliment them. Instead of being envious and picking yourself apart. And remember to give yourself a compliment in the process! You may not realize it, but there are people out there who wish they had what you had. Whether it be your eyes, your shiny hair, or your commitment to fitness, etc. Remember that who you are is enough! You are flawless!
Related Post: “5 Surprising Things Confident People Never Do”
3. Finances
Whether out of curiosity, envy, or superiority, we are all guilty of comparing our finances to other people. Especially in our 20’s and when social media is more prevalent than ever before. Because of social media, we now have an in-depth view into other people’s lives. Celebrities, supermodels, or even our friends who we grew up with. We see them going on luxurious vacations, buying big, fancy houses at 23-years-old, purchasing expensive cars, etc. And we begin to feel depressed about our own situations and wish that we could afford all of that too.
However, the truth is, just because we think we have a clear idea of someone’s financial situation, doesn’t mean we are correct. Because honestly, we never really know for sure. It’s impossible to assume correctly when scrolling through pictures on a social media website. You need to remind yourself that money is not the only thing that can buy happiness. I know it’s totally clichè, but just hear me out. To my fellow 20-something-year-olds, I know how much you want to travel and experience new places. But you do not need tons of money in order to travel. In fact, you can plan a little getaway even on a budget! If you don’t have the means to pay for a trip to Europe right now, then that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you can’t travel.
Europe may be out of the question, but you most likely do have the means to take a weekend away from home! Traveling does not mean that you have to fly overseas or drive thousands of miles away from home to enjoy a different culture or explore a place that you’ve never been before. For me, I live in Southern Michigan, so when I want to take an inexpensive trip away, I love to go north and spend a few days in a cabin on the lake. Or, Chicago is only 5 hours away from me, so taking a 24-hour impromptu trip is always fun as well! And all I have to pay for gas and food. Both locations that I mentioned are completely different from where I live. The food, the people, the environment – everything is different.
So, the main thing to remember here is to be happy with where you are in your life currently! And always try to make the best of it! 💛
4. Success
Let’s be honest, we all have compared ourselves to other, maybe more successful, people. Especially in our career or in our dream profession. Although we look up to those people in hopes to one day become just as successful, this, however, can actually lead to professional jealousy. Which in return can hamper your own success and even lead to avoidable stress if you let it build. Personally, I think it is so important to acknowledge the jealously you may be feeling towards anyone else’s success no matter how uncomfortable it may be. The time and energy you put into worrying and obsessing over what other people are doing, could (and should) be put into building your career and working towards your goals, instead.
Author and Pastor, Steven Furtick, once said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” I think this is especially true with social media today, where nearly everyone boasts and brags about their accomplishments. Without actually taking the time to explain the details behind those accomplishments. Along with the ups and downs they had to overcome in the process.
When you find yourself feeling jealous of someone else’s successes, take a moment to reflect on your own successes. Even if that means going to your Instagram bio and scrolling through all of your own past content. Think about how your own successes may look to somebody else who doesn’t know your entire backstory. And take this moment to congratulate yourself on all of your accomplishments. The majority of the success that you see other people and/or entrepreneurs achieving most likely came after years of failure, none of which they ever post about! In today’s world, it can be so easy to forget about your own success and achievements when comparing yourself to others. Instead of comparing, keep your head down, stay focused, stay in your lane and remember that you are on the right path!
I hope these tips inspired you, or even more, helped you out!
Do you have any helpful tips on how to overcome comparison?
xo, Cydney
This is a beautiful post. I feel lost most times, especially when it seems I’m the one struggling amongst my other friends. And to be sincere, it’s tricky because the thought can drown me into depression. Self-reflection is always a good approach. Thanks, babe.